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Jesus:  It's important to help those less fortunate than you. Treat them as your brother.
Christian Conservatives:  *hurriedly turn the page*

vercxce:

My internet was down for 5 minutes so i went downstairs and spoke to my family

They seem like nice people

chekhov:

Today I put my hand in my backpack and felt a stress ball and I was like “oh? I have a stress ball?” and I squeezed it and it was a pear and it exploded and now I’m much more stressed than I was earlier :/

meatbicyclevevo:

meatbicyclevevo:

What’s the definition of a will?

Come on guys it’s a dead giveaway

verticulars:

I think my parents consider me to be a god. Because they always ask me ridiculous questions that I don’t have the answer to.

benigoat:

Trying to sleep in summer with the covers on

image

if lucifer needs someones consent to enter their body then so do you

dajo42:

"it’s just a phase"
i mean the moon has phases but it’s still literally always the moon. just because the moon’s doing something different today doesn’t mean it was lying about being the moon yesterday

unimpressed2chainz:

ppl who work the overnight shift at 24 hour fast food places are the real mvps 

CRUNCH TIME !

okay, i know i promised you guys a new schedule, but this will have to take effect next week. I am an RA at my school which, for those of you who don’t know, this means I am in charge of part of a freshman dorm. There has been some issues with them being out of line which means a lot of paper work for us, BUT i may turn this into a vic for you guys! idk yet. we’ll see!! love you all!!! XX